I had always believed that actions speak louder than words. Be it personal life or working life, people will judge you based on your merit like your certificates and the quality of your work, something concrete and being just an ‘okay’ speaker is sufficient. But I was proved wrong…
Not long ago, I went on a part-time job interview with a friend of mine. As there was only one vacancy, I was pretty confident in getting the job because I had better grades. However to my dismay, the company employed him. The first thought that struck me was, “It’s definitely the interview session because my friend was a more expressive and vocal person”. That was I realize I need to change my minimalistic thinking, I am not even an ‘okay’ speaker.
After this experience, I constantly question myself, “Had I been more vocal during the interview, would the outcome be different?” As we all know, the purpose of job interviews is a process to impress the employer in any suitable ways. But in order to impress, it is imperative to communicate effectively in the first place, so that the interviewer knows whether I am interested and up to the job.
Effective communication is also vital in daily life as I will be constantly interacting with different people from all walks of life, both verbally and non-verbally. Effective communication aids the delivery of information in a more organized and concise manner. Message receivers can have accurate information and unnecessary misunderstanding is deterred. All in all, it enhances personal relationships with people as well as makes me a better person with higher emotional intelligence (EQ).
Being someone who is not really expressive, I am going to need an open heart, lots of determination and practice to master effective communication skills. And that is why I am taking ES2007S.
Really honest and down to earth post you have here.Well done! Well at least we can look at it from the positive dimension: You already have the grades,you now have a chance to improve your interview skills. Whatever you do now from here on out, will improve your communication skills indefinitely. Nobody is going to judge how lousy you WERE at communicating in the past.
ReplyDeleteTake heart from knowing that unlike grades(which once keyed in, cannot be changed), our soft skills are always something that we can constantly work on :)
After reading some of our classmates’ post; I realised there are many times we actually gone through or experience a time where we lose out due to poor communication skills and it spurted our spirit to wanting to do better. I believe the improvement in communication skills will and does indeed our chances of getting a job offer.
ReplyDeleteJust to share with you, I am now working as a tutor at a tuition centre. I got this job offer after conducting a Reading Session with some children when I was in polytechnic. One of the parents was the manager in this tuition centre and he came up and offered me a job. He said that he thought I was very confident in my speech and would be able to teach very well. I gave it a shot and I am still working there now after 3 years :D
It was the most amazing experience I had because I didn’t know that I could get an offer like that.
I believe all of us will improve in our communication skills, because practice makes perfect and there are no other modules in NUS which you may have the chance of speaking and talking so much :P
Your post remind me of a similar experience with you.I have experienced a frustrated interview, too.Before reading your post I hold the same opinion with you that higher GPA can make us more competitive than others.I find out that you have a deep understanding of effective communication.Let's work together to improve ourselves!
ReplyDeleteI think it's great to know what you're lack of,because we're never too late to learn.You will sure be excellent at both grades and communication soon:)
ReplyDeleteHello!
ReplyDeleteWow, before I read your post, I too thought that the person with better grades were preferred by job employers. Now that there's a good example which proves otherwise, maybe it's time to change my thinking.
Another thought came to mind after reading your post : Does good and effective communication skills always translate to better emotional intelligence (EQ)? Was just wondering if there was a direct correlation between this two...
@Eric, Zoey and Micheal, Thank you for all your encouragement:)
ReplyDelete@Klara, just wondering, does tutoring a class improve your communication skills? Because I am a home tutor thinking of tutoring a class.
@Hui Xin, I would say effective communication skills translate to better EQ great extent, especially in the non-verbal aspect. From what I learnt from another module, EQ encompasses 3 main elements, emotional expressiveness, emotional sensitivity and emotional control.
ReplyDeleteEmotional expressiveness is whether one expresses the correct emotional message. For example, one's non-verbal expression of attitudes.
Emotional sensitivity is about receiving and interpreting non-verbal communication and emotions such that one can respond aptly, understand others better and establish good rapports.
Lastly, emotional control is about regulating one's emotions and non-verbal displays.
To sum up, I guess effective communication skills can aid one to express, be sensitive and control our emotions better. (better EQ)
Hope that helps:)
Chris, I think tutoring does improve communication skills. You get alot of opportunities talking to students (a big group). When you are teaching the lesson, you need to make sure the points that you are bringing across to the students can be easily understood by them. If they don't understand, then you need to restructure it and explain in another manner.
ReplyDeleteIf you are interested, you can come work in the tuition centre I am working in :D Talk to you in class on friday :D
This is a very honest, self-critical post, Christopher. I appreciate the way you reflect on your prior beliefs related to what employers might value, then show via the anecdote how you were wrong in your assumptions. It's also very appropriate that you boil down your experience to the need for taking ES2007S. Finally, you've generated lots of good feedback from this heart-felt post. You also take the time to respond to the commentators, giving, for example, Hui Xin a detailed explanation of EQ and how that might connect to comm skills. Excellent effort on all fronts!
ReplyDeleteMy only question is with regard to your initial maxim: actions speak louder than words. You go on to say that this is wrong and you make the case that the interview is proof. However, might not one argue that in fact in the interview it IS the action that is of more value than, say, the words on the resume? Your friend apparently "performed" more effectively than you, so it was that immediate action rather than any statements about past performances that impressed the interviewers.
Hi Brad, my understanding of "actions speaks louder than words" is that what you do is more significant than what you say.
ReplyDeleteThe 'action' refers to what I do, working hard in getting better academic results, the 'words' is targeted on what I say during the interview.
Also, I would like to clarify that my friend 'performed' more effectively refers to him being able to speak better during the interview, therefore making it the 'words' in the metaphor I used.
I need to work on improving my 7Cs.
Hope that answers your question.
Dear Christopher,
ReplyDeleteThanks for leaving a comment on my post. I appreciate your feedback and encouragement.
I really like your honesty in this post. I had the exact experience as you do last year. I thought I was going to nail a scholarship interview simply because I did well in my exams. Do you mind if I ask why did you think that you are far from being an 'okay speaker'? What makes you think that your friend did better? Was it only the fluency in communicating or in other aspects as well? He may have controlled his non-verbal cues well or simply went well-prepared.
Let me know what you think. Have a great weekend :)
Hi Png Ning,
ReplyDeleteRegarding your questions.
Do you mind if I ask why did you think that you are far from being an 'okay speaker'?
Because one of my weakness is I am not a vocal enough. I will be lost for words, especially when I am asked a question that I do not anticipate.
What makes you think that your friend did better? Was it only the fluency in communicating or in other aspects as well?
Well, we were project mates for quite many projects, and I had seen his presentation and oral defence. He is fluent with words, explains concepts well verbally and good with his non-verbal cues like smiling and hand gestures. That was why I thought that way.
Hope that answers your questions. Enjoy your weekend too :D